... They wait until they're 22 ... and start doing that with their men.   Which is O.K. Except they often then complain that he's broken.  We boys rarely complained that our VacuForm Machine broke -- at least not while we had the hammer still in our hands. LOL

Well O.K.   That's not to say that the first cave couple tied each other up and made primitive floggers from Mammoth leather.   THAT is what we call today BDSM.   If that's your interest, then there are many other more informed sites to look at - if you think that's what D/s is, then you're wrong and you should stay, read and learn.  

For those of you who haven't been paying attention, life is a struggle.   As a zygote in the womb, it's a struggle to grow - to be born.   As a young child, it's a struggle to live and to grow.   To overcome obstacles and to thrive in the face of challenge and adversity.   In all of history, the challenge has been to overcome (Dominate) what can be overcome and to accept (Submit) to conditions over which you have no control.   Thus it will always be.  

To the Dominants among you, you've probably noticed that you feel at peace when you're in control.   To the Submissives, a feeling of tranquillity when NOT in control.   Whether you try to analyze it or just accept it, there's no getting around the fact that when you're in the position you like to be, it feels natural.   That's because it IS natural, because it is part of nature.   Not just yours ....   it's a part of HUMAN NATURE.

Nature What is Nature?

If you study the natural world, or look around you, you'll see that humans are part of it.   We're not in any way above it except in our own minds.   The DNA of a frog has more in COMMON with a human than not.   Cell biology, biological functions - every species is different, but all work on the same general principles.   Our primal emotions of fear, hunger etc., are all basically the same and we react the same to them.   Our needs for food, security, shelter, etc.   are the same, too.   SEX is one of the most primal of our needs....   but ....   why is that ? As an self appointed higher life form, we like to think that it's not a need, but a desire.   We're wrong.   The need to procreate is built into the genetic code of every living thing, including us.   Men are always subject to sudden lust, usually after something we can't or shouldn't have.   Many women have written about the 'biological clock' and how they feel toward the end of their reproductive life.   Neither of these feelings may pertain to you but there's no doubting that they exist in the human species, just like in all others.  

So ...   we are driven to have sex.   We may not want children (some of us may want to give the ones we have BACK) but the Sex Drive exists as a primal desire.   Are you driven to have sex because of orgasms ? Sure.   And fun things they are, too! But why do you HAVE orgasms ? The best information available suggests that we are given the pay-off in order to entice us to play the game! Nature wants procreation and gives us incentives.  

Evolution		If evolution is true, why don't mothers have an extra set of eyes in the back of their heads?

There seems little doubt that we evolved over millions of years to be what we are today.   There are people who believe that we were created as we are now (Creationism) but then there are people that say the earth is really flat, too.   While we don't know all the answers we do know that the fossil record of how we got where we are today is having the gaps filled a bit more every day.   When you look at the face of a chimpanzee there are few that haven't at least had a shiver that we're looking back at ourselves.   In fact, there's a female Gorilla at the Los Angeles Zoo that is SO eerily similar to a girl I dated in High School that .....   well never mind that.  

We evolved into what we are by bringing the best that each generation was forward to the next, and so on.   Improvements with each step.   Some setbacks as well (no other way to explain that back in the 60's there were people who actually called the Coast Guard to report about 7 stranded castaways from a 3 hour Hawaii tour - and no I'm not making that up!).

Natural Selection On the Origin of Species

Nature is cruel to individuals in favor of races.   This means that Nature favors the human RACE above any individual human.   Natural Selection means that the strong survive and flourish in order to pass on the very things that made them strong to successive generations.   For example, a person too weak or stupid to feed themselves will not likely live to spawn a child who may also be too stupid to feed itself.   Ugly ? Yes ? But as they say, such is life.   More specifically though, Nature favors the FIT ..   and the definition of fit changes with the times.   In lean times, smaller people will survive better than larger people who need more food - and lo as our civilization has been better able to feed itself, people are getting bigger and taller.   In cold times, people who had more body hair did better than people who didn't.   The list goes on, but the point is made - we are driven to procreate and the fittest ones pass on the best genes.  

Back to Nature

In a lot of animals, most mammals and all the higher primates, Males dominate the females and the MOST fit males dominate all the other males or drive them off.   The males are competitive, combative creatures.   Human males dominate almost all cultures and start all the wars.   Is this because women let us ? NOPE it's because it's in our nature.   Someone makes us mad, we try to over power them and drive them off.   Someone has something we want, we scheme to get it.   Someone tries to pass us on the freeway, we try to pass them (because to LET them pass us is to admit they have a bigger penis?) Can we overcome this? Yes.   But the primal urge to win is still there.  

Females give birth and take care of the young.   They do the nurturing and the primary care giving.   They rarely start fights over anything but the protection of the young.   In Humans, women have been the home makers, care givers and nurturers.   Not just in Western cultures, but in almost EVERY culture for as long as we have records.   Is this because men 'make' them - or leave no other position open to them? Maybe.   But on the other hand, how many times have you heard the joke "if men were left to raise the babies, it would be the end of the human race" ? Can men be care givers? Yes, we Can learn.   Is it in our nature? No it is not.   Find a man that can take care of 3 preschool kids, do the laundry, clean the house and have dinner ready when she gets home at 5 and you'll have found a rare man! Advanced? Maybe.   Typical of his gender? No.  

It would appear that Nature has equipped the sexes with different skills.   The man will fight off intruders, protect and provide for his family while the woman makes the nest and cares for the children.   For the feminists among you, this is referred to as the "stereotypical male idea of Western culture" but it should be noted that this same structure exists not only in almost every culture in the world, including ones that have never been touched by Western Culture...   but also in almost every historic culture that we have uncovered.   It MAY be that this is a system that has evolved over millions of years because it WORKS.   It maximizes the inherent nature of each of the sexes to favor the best possible chance for the offspring to survive.  

It's ALL about the survival of The Species

Looking for a minute at the Lion.   The male lions sires all the offspring in the pride and drives off all the other males.   When he gets too old and another lion drives him off, taking possession of the pride, the first thing the new lion does is try to kill all of the older lion's offspring and the female lions has to start ALL OVER AGAIN.   (more on this later).  

Looking at the sexes, some interesting things pop out.   Sperm is cheap.   Lions have lots of it, and they produce it from about 1 to 20.   On the other hand, eggs are not.   A lioness has a very few, giving birth is a complicated process, and the offspring take a long time and a lot of care to raise.   So ..   is it a good investment on a female's part to get pregnant by a male who can not provide for her and help her protect and raise the offspring? Maybe her best bet is to find a powerful male who will drive off the other males that would kill her offspring.  

Flipping the coin, if the male selects an older female, she will have less chance to raise the most offspring to insure the survival of his genes.  

Now lets look at another stereotype: Men are attracted to younger, prettier women and women are attracted to older, powerful men.   Say it ain't so! It may not be for YOU ...   but look at our society and say it's not typical.   Then look at Europe, South America, Africa.   Now look back to the beginning of recorded history.   It is so. but why is that?

Here's a possible reason: Men are PIGS. No ..   wait ...   let's go a little deeper.   Maybe {gasp} it's in our nature!

Is it a good decision for a woman to get pregnant by a vagrant bum who will leave the next day? Is it a good decision for a man to impregnate a woman that is frail and has health problems ? Just like the lions, if she selects the strongest male, he will best provide the protection that the children need.   If he selects the younger woman, the MORE offspring she can rear for him and the better changes his genes will survive.   This points out a few different goals between the sexes but that will be covered later.

Here's another favorite: Men go through mid-life crisis where they discard the wife and family in favor of a younger prettier woman.   Is this because men are jerks ? (don't answer, it's a trick question - of COURSE we are) but that's perhaps not the reason.   Perhaps it's deeper.  

Perhaps this jerk-like behavior is rooted in our genes.   He raised a family, provided for them and protected them.   Now the kids are grown and the wife is no longer of child bearing years.   His job is DONE.   He did what he could to ensure the survival of THAT particular set of genes ...   and now it's time to start over.

Is that pretty ? No.   Is it a good excuse for jerk-like behavior (like we NEED an excuse?) No.   But it may be the underlying REASON why so many men who have until now been reasonably happy and responsible gets this primal and indescribable urge to move on.   Is it unfair to her ? Yes.   But as we learned earlier, Nature is ALWAYS cruel to the individual in order to favor the race.   The non childbearing wife is, from a genetic standpoint, disposable.  

What we're discussing here is the growing field of SocioBiology that appears to be finding that we are not as "advanced" and "above it all" as we think.   We are slaves to our genetic imperatives and that several thousand years of what we call civilization has barely put a thin veneer on several MILLION years of primal behaviors.  

It gets worse

Women wear makeup, men don't.   Women paint themselves to look more attractive.   Women have traditionally worn RED lipstick, RED rouge and RED nail polish.   Why red rather than blue? And, while we're at it, why has this been true of aboriginal cultures totally untouched by western man?

When a female goes into heat (that's ovulation for you humans) the body's blood pressure goes up.   Blood flushes the cheeks, lips, fingernails and toenails.   Red, it seems, is a sign of female fertility.   Painting one's self RED is a sign of sexual receptivity.   And you thought it was JUST because mom did it, didn't you? Well, maybe that IS the only reason.   But it's interesting to note that women have been doing it for millions of years and men have been responding to it like the Pavlovian Pigs that we are for that long, too.  

What IS the point ?

The point is to accept the possibility that we are creatures of our own nature.   That we came to this earth with built-in desires and primal needs that ATTEMPT to control us.   We either attempt to understand and accept, or we are doomed to be confused by our feelings.   Do we HAVE to allow our primal needs control us ? No, of course not.   But to understand ourselves is the first step toward advancing ourselves.  

Men are fighters

From the moment we are born, men have to fight.   Our lives are all about struggle.   We fight to survive the school yard bully, we fight to win at sports, we fight for the better job, the higher promotions, to defeat our rivals at every step of the way.   We are neither taught, nor is it in our nature to simply accept what happens and go meekly along.   Sometimes we have to, but we hate it.   We are not gracious losers because we feel that to lose graciously is to lose ..   and we don't like that.   What we like is to WIN.   All the time.   AT everything.  

When we date, we WIN the hand of the maiden in competition with our real or imagined rivals.   We puff ourselves UP to look bigger, smarter faster ....   BETTER than the next guy.   Because BETTER wins and we like to WIN.  

To Possess is to control {in a pig's eye!}

Consider the dating scene.   Women rarely accept dates with every man that asks.   The smart women don't accept EVERY date even from the man they DO want.   They make him 'run the gauntlet' so to speak.   They make him prove that he is sincere, prove that he is worthy.   Why is this? Could it be that she learns from hard experience that if he WON'T prove his worth, if he WON'T prove his desire, then he'll never win her trust, never win her mind and never win her heart? Specifically, if he's not willing to fight to win her, then he won't fight FOR her ...   and he won't be there when she NEEDS him.   And that, much to the chagrin of the intellectual snobs among us, is a modern expression of the primal urge to invest the precious egg wisely.

Men, like most other males, desire to possess our females.   Look for a minute at the body of literature from all the surviving cultures: We do not seek to PAIR with the object of our desire, rather to possess her body, mind and soul.   We RAGE with desire to sweep her off of her feet, to OVERWHELM her senses until she has no choice but to fall madly in love with us! We have the need to possess ...   because to us, that means to WIN.   And the QUALITY of the woman we possess is a sign of our Dominance.   Moreover, women WANT us to have this desire.   As any man will testify, it's hard to win a date to the prom by saying "the woman I really want to take says that she's busy, so you're my second choice."

Intellectually, going to the prom is going to the prom - she gets to go.   So why, logically, does it matter? It matters because at the primal emotional level, she is not desired.   He has not WON her.   Perhaps even more base, she knows that, WITHOUT that raging desire on his part, we will not provide for her.   Emotionally, he is NOT providing for her.   She is not submitting to his Dominance.  

Dominance is the game ....   Women are the prize

Male Dominance over women is natural

So for those Dominants among you that are only happy when you're in charge and for those submissives among you that never knew why it felt so natural to submit ....   well ....   now you know.   It's human nature.   You were born that way.  

But not everyone is like that

True enough.   Exceptions abound.   When discussing the origin of our species there will always be traits that do not apply to any one or group of people.   Moreover, as an intelligent, enlightened (and now educated) individual, you can chose to be whatever you wish to be [except perhaps trying to be the Queen of England - they WILL put you away for that] - but as you step back and look at bigger and bigger pictures, you will see that YOU don't have to be that way ...   but this is how MANKIND is and may always be.  

Read On - don't chicken out NOW

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