WHAT WOMEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MEN.  

1) Men are DIFFERENT than women.   Men and women are two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that fit together, but just like the puzzle we are not mirror images.   Don't ever assume that he sees the world as you do ...   or the exact opposite, either.   He sees things DIFFERENTLY.  

2) Men are 35% ego, 15% combat soldier, 20% intellect, 10% emotions and 20% the sum total of all that we possess.   Sometimes less, sometimes more.  

3) Men are creatures of struggle, competition and combat.   Even in the womb, the fetus is basically female.   If the chromosomes are right a long struggle begins to create maleness.   If any one of a million things go wrong in early pregnancy nature just gives up and the fetus, complete with X-Y chromosomes, reverts to female.   That struggle is programmed into out genes.   What you see as being stubborn and pig headed, we see as survival instincts.   We don't like to give up.  

4) Men were brought up to be brave and strong.   Big boys don't cry.   They are never afraid.   "Be a man" we are told.   We were taught to go out and fight for what we want, that no one would ever give us anything unless were fought for it and earned it.   Even then we learned that bigger and stronger kids would try to take it away from us, so we learned to encourage our primitive instincts to fight hard, out maneuver the other guy and win at all costs.   Every one of us was told "show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser." We were never taught to handle our failures except to be ashamed and to try harder next time.  

5) We see every problem as a tactical situation that we have to overcome.   If you tell us about a problem you're having, we tell you how to solve it.   If you don't want our solutions, don't tell us your problems.   If we tell you how to fix it and you blow us off, we figure you are just bitching for no reason.  

6) We conquer everything we see.   Oceans, mountain ranges, other men ...   it makes no difference.   If it stands between us and our goal we go into battle mode and try to overcome it.   Don't get between us and what we see as a goal.   What you see as friendly advice, we may see as interference and very much like the warlords of old ....   try to kill the messenger.  

7) We want everything we see.   Our instincts try to tell us that if we don't acquire something we want, some other man will.   We don't like that.   When we stare at the blonde with the big tits, we tell you we're just `appreciating' her.   We're not - we want her.   We learn from trial and error that perhaps we shouldn't try to HAVE her ...   but we still WANT her.   It's the way we are.   Just accept that and stop blaming the compass because of the direction the needle is pointing.  

8) We learn by trial and error.   Women are often the errors.   We like women, but they confuse us.  

9) Men and women were meant to be together, but it's not so clear that we were ever intended to `relate'.   We rarely think about `the relationship' ...   and when we do, it's usually figuring out how to get it to include your good looking girlfriend from work.   It may be only as a fantasy - just working the problem to see if we have `what it takes' to make it happen, but that's what we do.  

10) Don't think that we're freezing you out if we don't want to talk about our day with you.   We already fought those battles and we're ready to move on.   Telling you about it makes us have to re live it.  

11) If we're going somewhere and we say we don't care what you wear, it means we don't care.   Get dressed and let's GO! If we do tell you what we want you to wear, put in on and let's GO - you came to us for a decision, we made one and it's DONE! It's not an open invitation to discuss your wardrobe and whether or not what we want you to wear really flatters your butt.   Never ever EVER point out your figure flaws to us! If we don't already know, just be happy.   Also know that if you ever DO succeed in making us see them, it may be ALL we'll see.   Having said that, no matter what our words tell you, the truth is that unless it's scuba diving or mountain climbing, we want you to wear heels.  

12) Dogs are better than cats.   Period.   Dogs are friendly, loyal, trustworthy and we always know what they're thinking.   We never have to guess how they feel.   Cats are independent, aloof, subject to wild mood swings and we can never be sure what they're thinking.   No matter WHAT we think they're feeling, we're wrong.  

13) Substitute `Men' for `Dogs' and `Women' for `Cats' and you see why we have problems dealing with women.   We carry our feelings differently than women.   We have them, we examine them and decide if we have a problem to solve and if we do, we set about to solve the problem.   If we don't we shove the feelings deep down inside and move forward.   We don't constantly drag them out for the world to see and we NEVER `share' our feelings unless it's part of our trying to solve a problem with them.   We don't like to share our feelings because we're afraid that they'll reveal a weakness inside us that WE can't stand to accept, let alone that someone else would see the weakness and exploit it.  

14) The women who love us are constantly telling us that we shouldn't be afraid of letting them see our weaknesses and that they'd never exploit them.   We think they're lying because in our world, it is absolutely UNTHINKABLE to not consider taking a tactical advantage when we have one.  

15) Men spend a great deal of their lives afraid.   We survive primarily BECAUSE we don't let it show, but we struggle every day to keep our fears from taking control of us.  

16) When you ask us a question, you're going to get an answer.   We see questions as a method for obtaining information that we do not have.   Don't ask a question unless you're prepared for every possible answer and NEVER ask us a question if what you really want is reassurance - it would never OCCUR to us to make that connection.   If you want reassurance from a man, you have to ask him for it specifically.  

17) We like and want what pleases us and we don't like and don't want what doesn't.   If we keep calling you, dating you or living with you ....   infer from that that we care for you.   Don't keep asking if we love you - besides perplexing us with the repeated question, it makes us feel like you don't believe us when we have to keep telling you.  

18) Ideally, all men would like to possess more than one woman.   Don't take it personally, it's simply a conquest and acquisition thing just like owning all of the best marbles because a part of us feels that we are the sum total of what we possess.   As a practical matter, we know that even if our women survived the initial cat fights and power struggle, you'd all eventually unite against the common enemy and we know in our hearts that that would be us.  

19) Men never heal from past relationships.   Each one pierces us like an arrow.   We try to be strong and we break the arrow off at the shaft and toss it aside, but the arrowhead remains lodged forever.   It eventually scars over, but it remains are part of who we are for the rest of our lives.   If you value us like you say you do (and possibly your own life) DON'T PICK AT OUR SCARS!

20) When we fight with you, we worry that we've hurt you too deeply and that the scars will never heal.  

21) When we finally win you, we hope that you'll never change.   But you always do.  

Men are PIGS.   Just deal with that fact, plan around it and don't let it ruin your life.